Listening Skills
In my opinion, listening is one of the most important skills a person can possess. Over the years, I have actively worked to improve my listening skills and have found several benefits from this.
In this post, I will outline why I believe listening is such a great skill to have and some of the situations where it is useful!
What is listening?#
The Oxford dictionary defines “listen” as:
- give one’s attention to a sound.
- take notice of and act on what someone says; respond to advice or a request.
- make an effort to hear something; be alert and ready to hear something.
The key part of this in my opinion is the active element of listening. That is, actively taking in information and processing it; whether that be remembering it or using it as part of a conversation. This makes listening entirely different from just hearing something in that you are actually doing something with the information.
Personally, I would also add another definition to that list: “the act of acquiring knowledge through hearing”. To me, listening is one of the key ways in which we can acquire knowledge. And I’m not necessarily talking about listening to lectures or talks to gain factual knowledge but more about the knowledge of the world around us and the current situation we are in.
This knowledge gained from listening to the people around us (Whether friends, family, co-workers, or even complete strangers) makes it such an invaluable skill.
Less talking, more listening#
I’ve known quite a few people in my life that I would describe as “over-talkative”. These people generally tend to dominate conversations and other people in the conversation can struggle to get a word in edge-ways. Now, I wouldn’t always say this is a bad thing, but it does come with some disadvantages:
Always dominating the conversation can make other people feel excluded Obviously, this depends on who you are talking to! Notably, in groups of people, there can be people who are not assertive. This lack of assertiveness means that they won’t feel like they can say anything if someone is talking a lot.
You can miss out on what other people have to say Talking a lot and controlling the conversation means that you will not get to hear what other people have to say. There are lots of reasons that you would want to listen to other people but one reason that’s important to me is that someone might find it hard to talk to you if you’re talking all the time. This is true when a friend wants to reach out to you for help with something but might not know how to start talking about it; this is made harder if you are talking a lot!
Talking causes you to be less observant In my experience, if you are talking about something and engaging in conversation, you will be less observant about your surroundings and, more importantly, the people you are talking to. I have seen a few times before that someone is so involved in talking about something that they don’t notice that the person they are talking to is actually quite upset about something else!
Why does this happen?#
Two reasons come to mind for why people behave in this way:
- The person talking is just really passionate about the topic they are talking about. I myself have been guilty of endlessly talking about a topic that I am passionate about!
- Some people seem to obsessively avoid “awkward silence”. So much so, that they feel like they have to fill every gap in conversation (No matter how small) with something.
- They simply just are not aware that talking so much can put other people off from joining in the conversation.
I don’t see these reasons as something negative about a person. Quite often, if this is ever pointed out to someone they will make an effort to allow other people a chance to get a word in. However, I think it’s good for someone to be able to realise that they are doing it.
Solutions!#
The solution to all of this is quite simple: take pauses in the conversation!
Natural pauses (That is, not in the middle of a sentence) are good points to allow other people to take part in the conversation and it stops you from becoming over-absorbed in the conversation!
A key thing to remember is that a conversation is not one-way! Unless you’re giving a speech or presentation, there should be an even exchange between all people in the conversation.
It’s good to let the conversation flow, even if it going to something you are not interested in or knowledgeable about! It is often more fun to go off-topic!
I’ve found that another good way to keep other people involved in the conversation is to ask questions. This comes with some key benefits:
- Actively inviting people to be a part of the conversation means other people are less likely to feel left out.
- Asking questions shows you are willing to listen to people!
- Hearing other people’s perspectives is a healthy way to ensure you are not being absorbed in your own perspective of the world.
- It helps you to get to know people!
Being a business asset through listening#
Up to this point, I’ve been mainly talking about personal interactions with people. I want to briefly talk about how I think listening as a skill can be useful in the workplace.
Following instructions#
It may be simple, but I find that people often don’t listen to instructions correctly which leads to the job either being not being fully completed or done incorrectly.
I have two main philosophies that I try to follow:
- Make sure to listen to the complete instruction! Don’t interrupt in the middle as you will likely miss some of the detail. However, If there are a lot of instructions, it’s okay to interrupt so that you can get something to write it down with!
- Once you have listened to the instructions, it is a good thing to confirm the instructions back by asking. Depending on the instruction, you can:
- Ask how they would like something doing.
- Summarise the instructions in key actions to make sure you haven’t missed anything.
- Clarify any points that you are not sure about. Best to ask before doing anything wrong!
The 2nd point is very dependant on your instructions and how clear they were in the first place. For the most part, a simple instruction shouldn’t require much questioning. Indeed, it may be annoying to the instructor if you ask too many questions!
Don’t be afraid of asking too many questions initially! You will eventually get the hand of similar tasks and be able to be much more independent once you have the experience.
Being observant#
I am a strong believer that being observant is a key skill that can make any employee valuable to the company.
I would like to preface this with an important distinction between “listening” and “listening in” (aka snooping). While I do encourage people to actively listen, this should not include actively looking for things to listen to. Especially in a business environment where listening to confidential information could get you in trouble if you are found to be listening in to the conversation!
Sometimes you may also be accidentally in earshot of something you shouldn’t be listening to. When this happens, it’s important to either make yourself known to the people so they can have the conversation elsewhere (If they are talking near your desk for example and you don’t have a choice to move) or simply just move away.
All of that being said, I think that simply listening to what is going on around you can have good benefits for how you can do your work.
Learning Processes One of the ways in which listening helps is in learning new skills or processes from observing other people. If someone is explaining how to complete a particular task to someone else, listening to that will likely allow you to gain more skills and knowledge in your particular work area.
When I am at work, I find it good to keep in mind that I do not know everything there is to know. Even if I know how to do something, I know that I will always be able to learn from someone with more experience. Listening to co-workers makes you a great asset to your company and, if everyone does it, the whole workforce benefits from shared knowledge.
Situational Awareness The other key way in which I believe listening is important is situational awareness. As I mentioned earlier, making an effort to listen to your surroundings can massively increase your awareness of what is going on.
This can apply to many different scenarios but here are some examples where this is useful:
- Say you work as a cashier for a shop. While working one day, one of your colleagues assigned to be on the till is a new member of staff who is not experienced on the till. You decide that you will keep an ear out in case they need any support. Low and behold, during the day they are trying to deal with a customer’s questions but unfortunately, due to not knowing all the answers, the customer is beginning to become irate. Noticing this, you go over and help answer the questions appeasing the customer.
- You work in an office. While working quietly to yourself on a project, you hear two colleagues discussing a project they are having difficulty with. As they discuss more, you realise that the issue that they are having with their project is the same issue you had a few weeks ago! You lean your head round the corner and say something along the lines of “Sorry to interrupt, but I couldn’t help overhearing about the issue you’re having. I had a similar issue before, would you like me to show you how I fixed it?”
Both of these scenarios have the potential to put you in greater favour with managers and colleagues by demonstrating you are willing to help and be proactive!
Of course, in either of these scenarios, the colleague could turn round and refuse your help and even get annoyed that you were listening. In my experience, it’s best to try and present it as an offer of assistance that makes the colleague feel supported rather than trying to show off that you can solve a problem for them.
Conclusion#
I find that listening is such an important skill to have in life; both professionally and personally. It can take time to get it right and “master the art” but I truly think it is worth it!
Listening is also important to me because it facilitates learning. I wholeheartedly believe that learning is something that everyone, no matter what age, should be willing to engage in not only for personal development but also for sharing knowledge between people.
I hope you have gained something from my rambling viewpoint on listening! Thanks for reading!